At LCC, our primary focus is relationships, between each other and more importantly between us and God.  We talk about all the benefits of doing faith in community and a big one is often stated by quoting our Proverb for today…

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Too often we only want to surround ourselves with people who think exactly like we do.  The slightest disagreement and we dissolve the relationship and seek others whose perspective is more in line with ours.  We become even more rabid about this when it comes to our kids, leaving any group with even a whiff of “heresy” as we’ve come to call even the slightest disagreement.

But it is the disagreements that help us to grow.  And yes, this goes for our children as well.  We need to have people who think differently than we do to help us expand our perspectives and grow as people and as Christ followers.  This is what the writer of this proverb means by “iron sharpening iron”.

Yes, of course there are limits.  We don’t suggest that brand new believers attend a cult to get another perspective.  But in the issues that are not salvation issues (issues about whether we deny Christ or rely solely on Him), it is healthy to have varying perspectives, to read books from those who think differently than us, and to listen to sermons from “the other side of the aisle”.

Sure, people who think just like we do can sharpen us with accountability, with though exercises, and with encouragement, but Jesus did not call us to insulate ourselves from the world let alone other Christians who hold a few different perspectives than we do.  In fact, the ones who elevated the importance of “building a hedge of protection around our particular beliefs” were the Pharisees, the only group Jesus ever treated as enemies.

“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.”

Our Deacon Team is currently reading together the book who’s title comes from this verse in Proverbs, “Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart”.  It is a book about caring for the grieving, a task our Deacon Team knows all too well and an important one to train people to perform.

Grief comes to us all, and it comes in differing stages.  It can come when a team loses a game we were desperately hoping to win, when a loved one is sick with the flu, when we lose a job unexpectedly, or at the death of someone close to us.  Though the degrees differ, all of these are causes of grief and need careful attention.  Ranking the degree of someone’s grief is never helpful – their grief is theirs to feel and not ours to judge.

When someone is grieving, it usually makes us uncomfortable.  And uncomfortable people tend to do and say pretty dumb things.  I’ve been told, “It’s fine.  You’ll get over it,” and “they were 86; it was probably time for them to die anyway” and neither brought me hope, comfort, or peace.  In fact, both simply mingled my grief with anger at the insensitivity of it.  On the other hand, I’ve also been told, “I’m so sorry; is there anything I can do?” and “…”; nothing at all but a gentle presence, both of which helped the healing process of my grief.

We don’t like it when other people grieve.  It scares us, it makes us uncomfortable, and we too often avoid it.  But avoidance may be better than the usual alternative which is to try to stop them from grieving.  “Cheer up” and it’s insensitive siblings have no place when someone is grieving.  We must be sure that we do not sing songs to a heavy heart, but instead be a calming presence, ready to listen, to sit in silence, and to incarnate Christ for those in need of His healing and comforting presence.